Grief affects everyone differently, especially when the one we lost was a huge part of our lives. After an elderly loved one passes away, it can be important to process your grief. The loss of an elder can be strange. On one hand, they lived a full life; but on the other, there is a void in your life that was always filled. Many people feel this way when they lose elderly parents or grandparents. This article will discuss how grief can often feel conflicted after the death of an elderly loved one.
The Pains of Aging
Many elderly people deal with a lot of pain and health issues in their final years. Getting old is not an easy process. If you were close to them, you may have witnessed their health declining over time. It can be difficult to think about, but many old people suffer from a lot of chronic problems in their final years. It can be painful watching a loved one struggle with their diminishing mental or physical well-being. Conditions like dementia, heart disease, arthritis, cancer, and other chronic illnesses take their toll.
Minimized Grief of the Elderly
Unfortunately, people can often diminish feelings of grief for older people. Sometimes it can be unintentional. It may seem comforting to tell someone, “At least they lived a long life,” but that doesn’t make the loss hurt any less. A long life lost means that those closest to them probably had a lifetime of memories. Even if they died peacefully, saying that “it was their time” doesn’t often negate feelings of loss. Platitudes don’t always help. Your reaction to them may differ. Know that they aren’t said to minimize your loss, even if they feel that way.
Losing a Parent or Grandparent
It can be heartbreaking to lose a parent or grandparent, no matter your age. If they were your only surviving parent, you may feel lost and alone without them. Your children may also be experiencing the loss of their grandparent. A family losing its matriarch or patriarch can mean a lot of dynamics changing in the coming years. This can include changing holiday traditions and plans with extended family. For many families, the elders are the glue that holds them together and keeps everyone in touch.
If You Are Close in Age to the Deceased
The older you get, the more common isolation can seem. Friends and family throughout the years pass away. Grief can weigh heavily on those of an advanced age, especially when the deceased was close in age to you. Many elderly individuals suffer from what is known as cumulative grief, where the feelings of loss throughout their years begin to weigh even more heavily on them. As you survive more and more of your friends and family, that grief can compound.
Grief and Mental Healthcare in Elder Care
The loss of a loved one can weigh heavily on your elderly loved one. Losing a spouse, sibling, or close friend can be a devastating loss to your loved one. For many older adults, the mental effects of a major loss can take a toll on their own health. Changes in the dynamics of their home life can undergo major changes as well. This is especially common when a partner or spouse passes away. During this transitional time, it can be vital to oversee your surviving loved one’s care situation and help them monitor their needs. They may also feel especially lonely or isolated. If your loved one relied heavily on their partner, they may require more assistance around the house in their daily life. This may require considering additional care support.
Safe Harbor offers in-home care assistance through our Certified Home Health Aides. Our aides are trained to assist older and disabled individuals with daily care needs, such as meal preparation, hygiene care, medication reminders, and more. Having an aide around throughout the week can also help fend off feelings of loneliness and isolation.
Safe Harbor Healthcare Services does not provide medical, healthcare, or financial advice via articles. This material has been prepared for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide and should not be relied on for advice.
Safe Harbor Healthcare Services has provided excellent home care on Staten Island since 1967. Our services help older and disabled individuals live safely and independently while giving their families the peace of mind they need. For more information, contact us or call (718)-979-6900.
