When your older relative develops symptoms of dementia, there is plenty to worry about regarding their care and wellbeing. You will likely have to figure out caretaking needs for them, options for guardianship, treatment, and care. But, talking to your children about what dementia means for their grandparent can also be a challenge. Below, we will discuss some tips for talking to your children about dementia.
Symptoms of Dementia
Dementia has several symptoms, that can change how the individual might interact with your children. Generally, these symptoms can be broken down into 2 main categories: cognitive and psychological changes. Cognitive changes can include:
- Memory loss
- Communication issues
- Visual and spatial difficulties
- Reasoning and problem-solving difficulties
- Poor coordination
- Confusion
- Disorientation
Psychological changes can include:
- Depression
- Anxiety
- Personality changes
- Regressive behavior
- Paranoia
- Hallucinations
Dementia is a condition that gets progressively worse over time. It usually starts with the loss of short-term memories, followed by long-term memories. Cognition, speech, and bodily function control will also begin to decline. In the later stages of the condition, the individual may struggle to take care of most basic functions without assistance.
Discussing Dementia with Younger Children
Elementary-aged children may notice some differences with how their grandparent acts or interacts with them. This change might confuse or scare your child. Talking about their condition can help your child understand. The best way to do this is to discuss dementia at their level of understanding. You can describe dementia as an illness. They can’t catch it from their grandparent. A good way of describing dementia to children is to say that it hides memories from the person. It makes it harder for them to remember things. You will also have to explain that their grandparent won’t get better, and will likely get worse.
Children at this age are very inquisitive, so they will likely have questions. Try to answer them as best as you can, or even look up some answers for them. Encourage your kids to be patient with their grandparents, given their condition.
Kids may not fully understand their grandparents’ memory loss. It can be important to assure them that it doesn’t mean their grandparents love them any less, even if they can’t remember their names.
Teens and Preteens
Talking to your teenage children about their grandparents’ condition will likely be more effective in getting the details across. Discussing what to expect will be especially important if they have to pitch in with caregiving duties. Rather than bringing the conversation down to their level, talk to them like an adult. Specify what the condition is, and how it may affect their grandparent.
Teenagers may not feel comfortable opening up to parents about how their grandparents’ condition makes them feel. Consider having them see a licensed therapist, or talk with a school counselor. This can be especially important if they are helping to provide care for their affected loved one.
Young Adult Children
If your children are adults themselves, a dementia diagnosis can feel like a long goodbye for them. They likely have lived their whole lives with their grandparent around, and it may feel like dementia is going to slowly take them away. The main goal should be helping your kids celebrate the time they had with their loved one, and to cherish the good memories they had with them.
Young adults may have their own lives to deal with, from college or work, and may not have as much time to spend with their grandparents. When they do see their grandparents, it can be important to help them understand how to communicate effectively with them. Encourage them to speak slowly and clearly, but to talk to them like they were adults. It can be easy to infantilize an individual with dementia, but it can often confuse or anger them.
Care Options for Those with Dementia
While many nursing homes and dementia care facilities focus on making the individual comfortable, unfamiliar surroundings can confuse the affected person. Care at home, when possible, can create less confusion. In-home care can help. Hiring a home health aide to assist with daily care is a good way to help your loved one feel more comfortable in familiar surroundings.
Safe Harbor Healthcare Services does not provide medical, healthcare, or financial advice via articles. This material has been prepared for informational purposes only. It is not intended to provide, and should not be relied on for advice.
Safe Harbor Healthcare Services has provided excellent home care on Staten Island since 1967. Our services help older and disabled individuals live safely and independently, while giving their families the peace of mind they need. For more information contact us or call (718)-979-6900.
